Sunday, February 25, 2007

Long time, No write

Have you ever dove so deeply that the frantic swim to resurface clenched your muscles in cramps and exerted vise-like pressure on your lungs? Metaphorically speaking, that's where I've been lately. That's why it's been a long time without any writing.

My dive wasn't into the water but into the all-consuming task of moving from one house to another. The house we moved back into is the house we've spent the better part of a year and a half renovating. We lived in it for a long time during renovations, but at some point, we said "enough" and moved out. What we moved back into was only 80% finished. I still have no closet or master bath. It's a work in progress that I frequently wonder if we'll ever finish.

It's alot like my MIP, which fluctuates between being 80% done and teetering on the edge of the trash bin.

Friday, I took a day off from the bill-paying job. I devoted my day to making sense of the mess I call home. I have to admit that I stood in the living room for a solid 15 minutes trying to decide if I should just sit down and cry or pick a point, any point, and dig in. Dozens of dust covered boxes filled the space. Haphazardly packed belongings littered a zone that smelled of paint fumes and sounded like power saws. Realizing there was no way out except to dive in and hope I was able to surface later, I grabbed the nearest box and said, "Ok, you're all going somewhere." I proceeded to unpack it and dozens like it. I rearranged furniture by sheer force of will, pushing and pulling across towels and sheets so that I didn't scratch the floor until I successfully found places for all the things I love. At times, I'd discover that where I'd put something wasn't quite right or that an arrangement just didn't work, so I'd redo it. I also chucked alot of stuff. I filled garbage bags with items that had outlived their usefulness, were never useful in the first place, or just plain didn't fit our lifestyle anymore. I still have more of that to do. I have more shopping to do, too, and empty spaces to fill with just the right find. Some of the things I need are big and some are small, but they all are necessary for the home I want to create. I'll likely continue to throw things away and shop, alternately, for several weeks to come. But... the bones are done, and I can see where I'm going.

It struck me that perhaps I needed this adventure (er, torture) to give me perspective on my MIP. I could easily have written the paragraph above about it. I really just need to grab hold of it and get started again. I need to unpack it, get rid of the parts that aren't needed, and add to it the good and beautiful stuff that will make it shine. I need to realize that, like this house, it is a work in progress. The fumes and noise and aggravation are still going to be there, but underneath, it is beauty and a sense of accomplishment and something worth doing and a product worth showing off.

I made it through the house thing. This week, I'm moving in again ... into my MIP this time. I'm gonna push up my sleeves and just get dirty. I'm going to purge and add and build and touch up. I'm going to get new things and let go of others. I'm going to rearrange and then do it again if needed until it's polished and presentable and amazing.

I guess this moving thing wasn't so bad afterall.


PS. When I find the camera, I'll post pictures.