Guilt

I'm going to write a short post about guilt today (so that I don't feel guilty about not blogging.)

I didn't go for a run today. I sat in front of my computer for a whole hour (and a half) and didn't write a single word on my WIP.

Instead, I dinged around on the computer, read some blogs about writing, discovered some new writers, downloaded some audio books, and explored the idea of getting an eReader for eBooks. (Anyone know a good one?) Looked up this place called Super Suppers where you can go make all your food for a month or at least a few weeks. Cool concept. Sounds fun. (Could all this count as my Artist Date? I was alone. I was exploring things I really like.)

Throughout the entire time, I kept chastising myself for my lack of discipline. But the truth is that I work hard, long hours. I come home and take care of a family, and I write. And, today, I was worn out.

It is okay to take time off. It is okay to relax. I'm also going to watch American Idol tonight. I'm going to get addicted to it this season. (I've only done that once before.) It will be my weekly guilty pleasure.

I feel rested now. I can go cook dinner (in the microwave). I can fold several baskets of laundry while I watch American Idol. I can keep note cards handy for my WIP. I can read some articles on writing that I haven't had time to peruse. And, I can go to bed before midnight. It really is okay.

The truth is that I was raised in a family where you never slept in on Saturday. We had chores that lasted all day -- house chores, yard chores, farm chores. You didn't sit around. You worked. Rest time was for sleeping -- 7 or 8 hours at night. What was a nap? I never took one -- not even as a child (but that was because I refused). Now, I'd love it, if I wouldn't feel guilty about it.

I was raised by a woman that didn't pamper herself at all. She didn't take naps. She worked 3 jobs. She didn't waste time.

I'm not sure that pampering yourself is wasting time, however. I think you need that sometimes. It helps you stay mentally healthy.

So, I'm going to pamper myself with American Idol every week. I'm going to read more. I'm going to take a nap.

I won't feel guilty at all.

(And, someday, I'll believe that.)

Macy